11.16.2008

Fly Your Freak Flag!


I find it hilarious how many people subscribe to the stereotype that homeschooled children are social freaks. The funniest part being that most people who subscribe to this absurd stereotype have never actually met a homeschool family.

Now granted, all stereotypes do have some basis in reality. I mean, true: there are some women who are addicted to shoe shopping. And true: there are some men who would trade their first born child for a cold beer and an over-sized power tool. Yes, certainly, there are some preschoolers who throw temper tantrums. And we’ve all certainly encountered a few teenagers who roll their eyes (because “Oh-ma-god! You are like, so emBARrassing!”).

So, sure … I’ll concede that there is quite possibly a homeschooling family or two out there living in the backwoods without electricity in their cult-chic abodes. I’m sure there are a few speaking in tongues, casting out evil spirits and otherwise avoiding Hannah Montana (truth be told, I’m with them on that last part). But so far, I personally haven’t met any homeschooling families like that.

I’m aware of local homeschooling families whose personal ideology doesn’t really align with mine (e.g. I'm a fairy liberal sister living in a very Christian conservative state ) but in my personal encounters, I’ve only ever run into smart, dedicated parents who really care deeply about their child’s education. I don’t need them to do it “my way” to validate their efforts. The parents have all been kind and the children have all been darling.

Sorry, no social freaks discovered yet. But, I promise to keep an eye out for them like an amateur photographer itching for a Big Foot sighting.

In the meantime, I’ve adopted a more lighthearted response to the invariable question that ALWAYS comes when I say that I homeschool. You know The Question:
“What about socialization?”

It’s a phrase you can practically see materialize in a thought bubble over peoples’ heads before their voice renders the question audible. It is meant as a challenge … a test … a gauntlet thrown, if you will.

At first, I felt compelled to “prove myself”: recite our impressive line up of age-appropriate group activities, point out Em’s impeccable manners, and her sweet, friendly nature. In short: produce clear evidence that my kid is not a homeschooled social freak. But then I decided:
screw it!

I now reply with a deadpan expression, a sincere tone of voice and this:
Well, Lindsay Lohan was homeschooled and, aside from all the rehab and stuff, she turned out fine.

Then I look the questioner straight in the eye, smile blithely and watch the gerbil run around on the wheel in her/his head as they try to figure out: “Holy shit … is this lady serious?!!”

Of course I’m not serious! But, tactfully calling people out on their assumptions (a.k.a. bullshit buy-in) tends to shift them out of their uninformed and, for the record, ludicrous position. I guess I could just get defensive but I don’t have the time or energy for defensiveness (I’m way to busy designing stellar lesson plans ... and watching Gossip Girl). Besides, messing with people is way more fun!

1 comment:

SJames0531 said...

Hilarious! Would just love to see the look on someone's face after the Lindsay Lohan comment....